So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
