spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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