My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
