she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
