she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
