Nicole vs. Life
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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