Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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