somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
