I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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