PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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