Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
