I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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