My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
