Those balls look pretty dangerous.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
