I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My vagina is officially offended.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
