You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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