smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
