can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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