Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
