To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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