he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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