Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
