i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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