Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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