he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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