the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
