I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You work out of a Hotel?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
