I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
