I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
