She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
