Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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