never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
