I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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