booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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