what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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