I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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