Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
