Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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