just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
