just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
