Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Can I color on your dick again?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
