so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
