My balls are so social today.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
