Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
