the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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