I wanna bring you to show and tell
I showed him my bush... on skype.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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