Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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