It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
