I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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