My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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